Why Do I Not Do What I Want to Do?

Affirmation: I create the outcome by the choices I make

Why do I struggle so with exercise? Why can't I just choose to do it everyday? It is no secret that I hate doing it, but I also feel so much better after it is over. Shouldn't that be incentive enough? Apparently not! So what is at work here? Is it just a plain issue of discipline? Obediance? Or am I trying to sabotauge myself? Or do I not love myself to push myself in this last huge step to becoming healthy and creating a healthy life? Probably all the above. So what to do about it?

But I am having small victories. Today I had chinese food for lunch - been craving it for ages and decided that today was the day. I am full and satisfied and have only eaten about a 1/4 of a lunch portion. Not so long ago I would have eaten the whole portion plus an egg roll and soup. I even am able to throw it out because I don't want to eat it two days in a row, and it was easy to throw it out. Now I know that may sound like a crazy kind of thing to you, but wasting food, not eating it has been a difficult thing for me to overcome.

Another small victory...well this is actually a huge victory. I have really lost my taste for fast food. In my hectic pace I am finding myself continuing to check with my body to see if it is actually hungry and choosing to not eat when I am not - even if it is meal time and I am going into a meeting or something where food may not be available for a while. I am learning to live with the feeling of hunger with out getting too panicky. I do try to keep a bag of nuts, dried fruit and kashi mix or something in my purse for those times when the blood sugar drops and I get the shakes. But that is happening less and less lately as well. I suppose that my body is getting used to not being fed constantly and learning to keep a more balanced level for a longer period of time...don't know, but sounds good eh?

I love this having the conversation with your body to check if you are really hungry. I am learning to trust my body and it's responses and it is learning to trust me to feed it when it is really hungry and not over feed it 24/7.

Small victories. Today on the bike for 10 minutes this morning.